Swaps, Bar Tabs & Attempted Humor

by Shon Shampain, Wings GM
with thanks to editing comments by Bo Siemson, Rangers GM

Swaps

As of March 22 there have been 197 trades this season in the WCFHL. Of course, player value is never static, it always depends on what another team is willing to pay (and of course if you hold the all-important NHL Avalanche player). However, certain conclusions can be drawn. For the sake of categorization, I have developed a couple different trade categories.

One-To-One or Equal Value Trades

The first category is called one-to-one. This implies, as its name states, one entity is traded for another, whether it is a player, draft pick or prospect. Also included in this category are equal amounts for equal amounts. Examples of this type of trade include:

  • David Aebischer for Patrick Lalime
  • Stephane Robidas for Shane Hnidy
  • Bulis for Rod Brind'Amour

    and the like. The important consideration is that both parties consider the packages on either side to be more or less equal.

    Equal Value Trades w/ Equalizers

    The second category is simply a variation of the first, and it is called one-to-one with equalizers. Examples include:

  • Mike Grier for Scott Thornton, CHI 2004 Rnd 2, $3.000.000

    where the draft pick and cash are the deal equalizers.

    Package Deals

    The third category is called one-to-many. In this type of deal, one or more players of good quality are dealt for a package of things usually rated of lesser quality, but perhaps with potential. There are various motivations for this type of trade, including: dumping salary, improving depth, gathering prospect and or draft picks, etc. Examples include:

  • Mike Johnson for Kevyn Adams, Mike Siklenka, Cory Pecker, JUSSI JOKINEN
  • Darryl Sydor for Jason Ward, Steve Staios, MATTHEW LOMBARDI, TOMAS PLEKANEC, $1.000.000

    Something for Nothing

    And the last category I like to call something-for-nothing. Examples of this type of trade include:

  • Roman Turek for DAL 2004 Rnd 7
  • CGY 2004 Rnd 8 for Sergei Berezin

    The funny thing about these trades is that both parties think they are giving nothing and getting something.

    Stats

    Statistically, as you can see from the table below, the trade patterns of the WCFHL and NHL are a bit different.

    1 to 1

    1 to 1 w/ Eqs

    Package

    SFN

    WCFHL

    34 - 17%

    69 - 35%

    78 - 40%

    16 - 8%

    NHL 03/04

    25 - 40%

    8 - 13%

    19 - 31%

    10 - 16%

    However, if you create only 2 categories, those being equal-value-based, and package-based (the equal value based consisting of 1-1, 1-1 w/ eqs and SFNs), the percentages are very similar, adding credence to the suggestion that Bo has created quite a realistic league.

    Equal-Value-Based

    Package-Based

    WCFHL

    119 - 60%

    78 - 40%

    NHL 03/04

    43 - 69%

    19 - 31%

    And finally, to leave you with one final statistic concerning trades when the WCFHL Avs have dealt for NHL Avalanche players.

    Paid Fair Value

    Overpaid

    GM Dennis acquires NHL Avs

    0%

    100%

    Bar Tabs

    Now, on to finances. With the trade deadline only a short number of days away, most teams are secure in their playoff and financial situations. Here are the teams staying up late (or not!) trying to balance the books:

    1. The Edmonton Oilers are 7.5 Mil in the hole and out of the dance. They can only count on 300K of extra cash at the season's close. Bet on two or three players being moved in auctions. Is this GM negligence, or a sly plan to dump free-agent dead-wood onto the market? Time will tell.

    2. The Nashville Predators and New Jersey Devils are both in the 2-3 Mil down zone. Nashville is due another Six Million Dollar Bar Tab, and the Devils are on the good for 2 Mil. Nashville needs to win the Cup in order to balance the books, the Devils will be OK whetever happens. The surging Devils are in with a 3 point gap, and the Jagr-Preds are 3 points out. Nashville is hoping for a miracle. Or that the NHL Avalanche acquire Jagr. Either one of which could be a windfall.

    3. The Yotes are in trouble. Compounding the fact that Numminen may be forced to retire is the fact that their profit of 1.8 Mil is due to be erased by a 3.5 Mil bar tab to the league. GM Mike is looking at a guaranteed auction unless he can pull a rabitt out of his hat. The interesting thing is that since his player liquidations some weeks ago, the Yotes have climbed back into the number eight spot, and one good round of playoff hockey should be enough to hold the tide.

    4. Swinging our attention to the East, GM Sevag is sitting smugly on 5.2 Mil in losses, however, he is also sitting on the number 3 spot. However again he owes Mr. Siemson almost 1 Mil. Two solid rounds of home-ice playoff hockey in Ottawa will take care of this deficit.

    5. There are a couple teams who may have to may last minute deals, or else have minor grinders auctioned off, like the Thrashers and Flyers. These should be of no consequence however. Added to the fact is that they are both due nominal sums from the league.

    Attempted Humor

    And now to end the article on a lighter note, these are obviously stolen from various places on the Internet...

    Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists,breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident,and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend >From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend >From Horrific Attack" hecontinued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either for the Leafs or Jays fan."What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Montreal Canadiens fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little French Bastard from Montreal Kills Beloved Family Pet."

    A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."

    The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

    The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.

    Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

    The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

    "No", the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."




    Standing on the top of a mountain are four hockey fans -- a fan of the San Jose Sharks, a fan of the St. Louis Blues, a fan of the Colorado Avalanche, and a fan of the Detroit Red Wings.

    The San Jose fan jumps of the side of the mountain, screaming "THIS IS FOR THE SAN JOSE SHARKS!!!" A few seconds later, the Blues fan follows, shouting "THIS IS FOR THE ST. LOUIS BLUES!!" A few more seconds pass, and the Colorado fan pushes the Detroit fan off the mountain, shouting "THIS IS FOR HOCKEY FANS EVERYWHERE!!!"

    So these two guys arrive in Hell one day. But as Satan comes to greet them, they're all smiles.

    "What are you two idiots grinning about now? Can't you see you're in hell?"

    "Well you see, we're from Calgary. Where we come from, it's really cold. This heat is kind of pleasant."

    "Pleasant, eh?" replied the devil, "I can fix that."

    So Satan goes to the thermostat and cranks up the temperature. When he goes back to the two from Calgary, he sees them still brimming with smiles.

    But, this time, he comes up with a different plan. Since they like the heat so much, he thinks maybe the cold will make them suffer. So Satan turns the heat down as low as it can go. When he goes back to the Canadians, he sees they're celebrating and hollering.

    "Jeez, you people just can't be tortured. What are you celebrating about now?"

    "Hell's frozen over! The Flames won the Stanley Cup!"




    A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Colorado Avalanche fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Avalanche fans too.

    Not really knowing what an Avalanche fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is, however, one exception. A little girl has not gone along with the crowd.

    The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

    "Because I'm not an Avalanche fan," she retorts.

    "Then," asks her teacher, "what are you?"

    "I'm a proud Detroit Red Wings Fan," boasts the little girl.

    The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the little girl why she is a Wings fan.

    "Well, my Dad and Mom are Wings fans, so I'm a Wings fan too," she responds.

    The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

    "Oh," says the little girl. "Well, then I'd be an Avalanche fan."




    And finally, one more:

    To STARS: Mike LeClerc, COL 2005 Rnd 1, COL 2005 Rnd 2

    To AVALANCHE: Matthew Barnaby

     

    (Sorry, Dennis, couldn't resist. But when you have won the WCFHL Cup 3 out of 8 years, you're a fair target!)